An amazing journey I had .
She came , she sat - she gave a look, I was glad.
I smiled , she ignored - I was hurt and she look bored.
My eyes were hiding but the feel was blooming .
She got the sense and gave me a bold look.
After which I felt stupid ,
As if she could read me like an open book.
After some silence there was this magical moment which I waited for long.
She smiled and swayed her head in a way which felt just right.
I felt mushy and was happy from the heart ,
but was paralytic on face over - "What to do next".
I opened a book ,she took up her mobile.
I read no words in the book but my own fear and excitement.
And I am sure she would be typing the same to her hopes and doubts.
In a minute I felt an insecurity to loose it all .
Expressed to her that in my look; and luckily she open up her soul to me with those magical eyes.
Those discomforted lovely eyes -They stare ,they dare ,they care ,they fear;definitely they do hear .
But quite strangely the next moment they are not there.
I had a feeling to lock the moment for life ,
but my wish was trashed with a Nagging Voice -"Babuji Chai Garam".
A smile we passed and a comfort we shared.
Neither she asked my number nor could I dare.
That's how we parted - Naked hearts shielded with fear.
Inspiration source - NG.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Friday, April 8, 2011
Distinction of Reality.
Today just got aware to a level of reality that is different from that exist outside . It resides insides and invokes you to find comfort in the matching pieces of external reality and a discomfort in a mismatch. It became so strikingly evident to believe the concept for I was able to justify my moments of comfort and discomfort with this distinction of reality.
I tried to dive a level deeper into identifying what is the internal reality that is the source of my comfort and discomfort ,other than the external one over which I don't have any control . The internal reality I would say exist in levels of urgency to react to -
1. The primal level being natural instinct to survive and well being .
2. Over it , your value system to fairness and the societal norms of justice .
3. Then there is a perspective to be someone through a sense of worldly contribution which makes you stand out and relieves you of the question of your existence .
With that hazy definition of internal reality I tried to get aware to my past moments of comfort and discomfort .
Clearly wherever there was a threat, I was discomforted. And wherever my sense of well being was being questioned by someone else's (explicit and interpreted) , I was to find myself in a state of discomfort . Pretty evident in most of the lifestyle influences that leave you in moments of despair over you not having something which is being highlighted by others as a must-have . I think mostly it happens because the sense of well being at some subconscious level is related to happiness , and happiness is a state we all want to be in "All the time".
The sense of judgement over right and wrong is an important criteria to leave you in a state of comfort or discomfort. If you don't get assurances towards your judgemental opinion from the external reality , in most cases you end up in a state of internal discomfort. Your defence mechanism invokes and you tend to defend your judgement in an argumentative war. Very few times when you get aware to what's happening and agree that it's only a judgemental point of view that you are fighting for , you can have an unattached rational argument. Very amazing process ,if one is able to trigger it by will .
Sense of contribution and to be someone . If the external reality is forcing you to be someone and your internal reality has envisioned you as someone different , you are bound to end in a state of discomfort . Most often than not , in your professional career you encounter situations like that .
I tried to dive a level deeper into identifying what is the internal reality that is the source of my comfort and discomfort ,other than the external one over which I don't have any control . The internal reality I would say exist in levels of urgency to react to -
1. The primal level being natural instinct to survive and well being .
2. Over it , your value system to fairness and the societal norms of justice .
3. Then there is a perspective to be someone through a sense of worldly contribution which makes you stand out and relieves you of the question of your existence .
With that hazy definition of internal reality I tried to get aware to my past moments of comfort and discomfort .
Clearly wherever there was a threat, I was discomforted. And wherever my sense of well being was being questioned by someone else's (explicit and interpreted) , I was to find myself in a state of discomfort . Pretty evident in most of the lifestyle influences that leave you in moments of despair over you not having something which is being highlighted by others as a must-have . I think mostly it happens because the sense of well being at some subconscious level is related to happiness , and happiness is a state we all want to be in "All the time".
The sense of judgement over right and wrong is an important criteria to leave you in a state of comfort or discomfort. If you don't get assurances towards your judgemental opinion from the external reality , in most cases you end up in a state of internal discomfort. Your defence mechanism invokes and you tend to defend your judgement in an argumentative war. Very few times when you get aware to what's happening and agree that it's only a judgemental point of view that you are fighting for , you can have an unattached rational argument. Very amazing process ,if one is able to trigger it by will .
Sense of contribution and to be someone . If the external reality is forcing you to be someone and your internal reality has envisioned you as someone different , you are bound to end in a state of discomfort . Most often than not , in your professional career you encounter situations like that .
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