Barefoot Soul Runner 

Have you ever wondered what the life be without legs and eyes ? 

Have a distant memory of my father mentioning it over time that the old age is not so painful if you have your legs and eyes managed in order. Couldn't actually make it out then about what was the deep implication involved there and then . 

Looking back over past 4 years of movement in life can much appreciate the value sense behind his constant reminder. 

So covering the background of what happened,  had a knee injury in Sep 2012 where happen to have an ACL tear surgery done . The years following were eventful in personal space as got married , had a startup etc . In short sprints of conscious realisation did some workouts here and there to cover the guilt of compounding fat in my body . However at the back of the mind there was always of fear of never to be able to revisit my leg injury again . With that caution devoid myself of all running and sports activity . Moreover didn't raise any alarm of the worsening of my knee conditioning with the gained weight condition. After a change of events moved to Bangalore with a kid . The health situation wasn't improving much here also , but tried few experiments with diet et.al and had mild progress along-way but without a  persistent habit change the outcome wasn't meant to last . With some series of events, took a sabbatical and had a solo trip across Karnataka and parts of Kerala . During that trip came to a deep sense of responsible realisation towards my health. Getting back from the trip , left my job and started my health journey.

Very first thing was to seek some external help in helping me get into a routine of workout . Naveen was the gym trainer who used to come quite often to our society . Got myself enrolled in his group classes session . What a nightmare it used to be in the earlier sessions , was also embarrassing at times to be not able to do certain body movements as well. Others in the group , felt were much better equipped with their body . Still was persistent with my efforts . Had an idea cross over my mind after having analysed the root cause of my half-hearted efforts . My knee injury . I was trained/conditioned for all these many years not to go any bit tough on my body especially with legs otherwise the consequences can put you years behind your improvement journey . In an instinct decided to be able to challenge myself for my legs and be able to run a marathon . All whatever was there to be borne by my body especially my legs will be provisioned in time . Without getting over my legs couldn't imagine a fitter me . So there it all started , a dream (with incremental associated physical movement) to be realised  in time . The initial runs were hard as there was no cadence , no breath control , no sense of recovery , no pre run routine . But definitely there was the spirit to take my chances against the odds and turn it into a realised dream of losing atleast 10 kilos . Faintly remember was 87 kgs then . That's fairly high for an average height 5'7" guy.  Was bordering conditions of early diabetics . 

So with Naveen got into the rhythm of exercises and learning about metabolism and diet control . With that also had my running routine in operation in parallel . Was gathering information about running and body with whatever came to me online. By chance of luck and blessing of God came around an interesting recommendation by someone about a book called Born to Run. Happenstance went through it and got lot of insights and motivation to run barefoot . One of the sticking point of the book which till date hasn't lost its impact is that - "Our feet has 28 bones (more than 10% of the entire body) and it balances the whole body , the design is so sophisticated and effective to allow all such body movements while staying grounded " Shoes take away the barefoot design power by making you adapted towards feel good comfort without being wary of the long term impacts . The take home was that I need to switch to barefoot running and initial one month or so of its adaptation journey . Was able to do that successfully and my God what an insight was that into my childhood days of carefree barefoot runs and the unleashing of the body thereafter . Was able to feel the freedom through my foot after foot adaptation and the journey thereafter . 

Also went towards making a big switch of getting my barefoot shoes for outdoor movements . After a month and half of extensive research zero'ed in on Merrell trail glove 5  . Got Animesh to get a pair for me from UK . After the shoes it was just signing up for marathon's and just giving my best. My first 21K was with Kaveri Trail and it was simply amazing . Till now have run almost close to 10 of them and counting . 

Previous to last run retired my merrell shoes and started running in Whitin shoes . These are also amazing after an adaptation cycle . Loving the journey so far. It's a complete mindset change with respect to running and associated life thereafter . Its a big change however small it might look :) 

Will be getting one for Juno soon. 

2018 - year of many up-starts.

Life has its own ways of becoming the way it does and reflection is a wise choice to see its play.
On this starting note I start to reconnect with my writing self once again. Have missed it for so long for sure. Looking back it's a while(almost 6.5 yrs) and many events have happened ever since the last blog entry :
       Got completed with Mobiporter, lived a job, traveled destinations , got married , started Thilio, have a kid, relocated to Bangalore , lived a job , had a sabbatical and now on a break. Got quite some ground covered. And now that I am looking from then to now I can sense that a lot of world that I lived through from then has changed . Wow! Times they are changing. So much of personal catchup with friends and decent time to meet parents THEN and more of digital interactions NOW. Have a better living-space sense NOW than previously . Value system has become MORE biased towards self sustainable evolution . Used to be more expressive looking for fun with less consideration of others THEN , NOW it's more towards experiential joy and more conscious of consideration towards others. More experimental with food value NOW than food taste THEN. Love to spend more time with Family  NOW than more time with Friends THEN. More focus on Quality NOW than on Quantity THEN. Was more active in sports THEN than I am NOW. Music air-time was more THEN than NOW. Have ALWAYS loved to be around kids and living more dedicated time now. More accommodating towards complementary values ,situation and people. LESS effort towards pitching belief systems and MORE towards empathizing for life systems working. More Inspired and fascinated by Space NOW than THEN. These are some of the easy catchups from a reflective mind .In summary I have moved spaces from Brahmacharya to Grahasta Ashram and most of the related changes are more indicative of the responsibility undertaken. Living through it now.

Tension and Spark !

An amazing journey I had .

She came , she sat - she gave a look, I was glad.
I smiled , she ignored - I was hurt and she look bored.

My eyes were hiding but the feel was blooming .
She got the sense and gave me a bold look.
After which I felt stupid ,
As if she could read me like an open book.

After some silence there was this magical moment which I waited for long.
She smiled and swayed her head in a way which felt just right.
I felt mushy and was happy from the heart ,
but was paralytic on face over - "What to do next".

I opened a book ,she took up her mobile.
I read no words in the book but my own fear and excitement.
And I am sure she would be typing the same to her hopes and doubts.

In a minute I felt an insecurity to loose it all .
Expressed to her that in my look; and luckily she open up her soul to me with those magical eyes.

Those discomforted lovely eyes -They stare ,they dare ,they care ,they fear;definitely they do hear .
But quite strangely the next moment they are not there.

I had a feeling to lock the moment for life ,
but my wish was trashed with a Nagging Voice -"Babuji Chai Garam".

A smile we passed and a comfort we shared.
Neither she asked my number nor could I dare.
That's how we parted - Naked hearts shielded with fear.

Inspiration source - NG.

Distinction of Reality.

Today just got aware to a level of reality that is different from that exist outside . It resides insides and invokes you to find comfort in the matching pieces of external reality and a discomfort in a mismatch. It became so strikingly evident to believe the concept for I was able to justify my moments of comfort and discomfort with this distinction of reality.
I tried to dive a level deeper into identifying what is the internal reality that is the source of my comfort and discomfort ,other than the external one over which I don't have any control . The internal reality I would say exist in levels of urgency to react to -
1. The primal level being natural instinct to survive and well being .
2. Over it , your value system to fairness and the societal norms of justice .
3. Then there is a perspective to be someone through a sense of worldly contribution which makes you stand out and relieves you of the question of your existence .
With that hazy definition of internal reality I tried to get aware to my past moments of comfort and discomfort .
Clearly wherever there was a threat, I was discomforted. And wherever my sense of well being was being questioned by someone else's (explicit and interpreted) , I was to find myself in a state of discomfort . Pretty evident in most of the lifestyle influences that leave you in moments of despair over you not having something which is being highlighted by others as a must-have . I think mostly it happens because the sense of well being at some subconscious level is related to happiness , and happiness is a state we all want to be in "All the time".
The sense of judgement over right and wrong is an important criteria to leave you in a state of comfort or discomfort. If you don't get assurances towards your judgemental opinion from the external reality , in most cases you end up in a state of internal discomfort. Your defence mechanism invokes and you tend to defend your judgement in an argumentative war. Very few times when you get aware to what's happening and agree that it's only a judgemental point of view that you are fighting for , you can have an unattached rational argument. Very amazing process ,if one is able to trigger it by will .
Sense of contribution and to be someone . If the external reality is forcing you to be someone and your internal reality has envisioned you as someone different , you are bound to end in a state of discomfort . Most often than not , in your professional career you encounter situations like that .

Kuch alfaaz aise bhi aur yun kahiye aise hi ....

Aapki aankhon ke naam pe rooh-e-fursat mein hua ek jaam -
aur uske baad fir se hua is dil aur dimaag ka kaam tamaam .. !


Aapke liye kuch waqt yun tareef mein nikaale .. yeh kisi guzaarish se kam nahi ..!
Bas pyaar ki tadap ko pahuncha sakoon isi mein maqsood-e-zindagi ka ilm sa dikhaayi padta hai..!

Yeh to zaroori nahi ki har shaakh se ped bane -
Mohatarma, kuch paudhe to gamlo mein hi ache lagate hain !

Aaj kuch hua hai mehsoos to izhaar-e-ehsaas kar lene do -(2)
Baaki sab kuch rehne do.
Kal ko jab kuch mehsoos naa kar paayenge - (2)
Toh kehne se bhi naa beh paayenge !

WHO I WANT TO BE ?

I want to be a system architect designing flawless ,complete ,correct and scalable systems. And this is what thrills me and makes me feel high.

I want to pursue my hobbies without any expectations.
- Guitar , Books ,Theater , Travelling/biking , Movies , Writing .

Capturing thought Streaks --to avoid mental sweating !

Streak 1 ->art inspires and gives you a dimension and direction to act.
Normal life you feel the competitive heat to be put into action- comes naturally from 'natural selection' insecurity - Darwinism.



Streak 2 ->The benefit of being in technology space is that , it gives you a fast implementation of the idea.
The drenched reality of the business is -> you can have competition so fierce in so little a time ,you might end up feeling it being a futile chase of idea where someone is bound to go beyond you in very less time.